kahunaburger

What you will see in this entry is an account of the things that happened this morning in our nursery. Because of the graphic nature of the pictures below, we highly recommend that minors, weak-minded people, people with heart conditions, etc. STAY AWAY from those images.

Proceed at your own risk!

It all started like a normal Wednesday morning. After the kind had been fussing for hours, daddy decided to get up at 5:30am, brew some coffee and let the dogs out for their morning business. Little did he know that the same dogs would turn into wild creatures in a little while.
The next two hours daddy spent in his office while the blood-thirsty hounds rested on the doggie couch and in the doggie bed.

At 7:30am Pia and mommy emerged from the bedroom. As usual the baby was brought into the nursery and those stinky diapers got replaced by some fresh ones. All the time, the dogs were waiting around the changing table “inhaling” the smell of their soon-to-be victim.

At 7:35am daddy put the little girl into a nursing pillow and placed her on the floor. We believe that this was the all important mistake that set things in motion which will be documented below. Pia still looks fine on this picture:

dog attack

7:37am: One of the dogs approaches the girl from the left side. His mouth is open, revealing rows of sharp teeth to the little baby. It’s hard too see in the picture, but there were massive amounts of drool involved

dog attack

7:39am: While daddy is not paying attention, the fierce-looking Pitbull-mix, Max, is going in for the kill. He starts off with a wild lick-attack of the baby’s hands and feet, but soon begins to chew on baby’s right hand. The picture below depicts the beginning of this attack and the terrified look on the baby’s face:

dog attack

7:40am: Only one minute later the baby’s right hand is gone!!! You can see that Pia is still fighting and trying to get the monster of her body, but at this point Max’ instincts are taking over and there is no way back

dog attack

7:41am: The photographer fainted …

PS: And before some sick and stupid people start sending me hate mail and demand the execution of the dogs - Pia is fine, she still has both of her hands; the dogs are fine; we are fine; everybody’s fine

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Logged on to my Dish Network account this afternoon and saw this one:

So I call Tom at the 1-800 number and ask what offer they have for me. Tom is perplexed and does not know what I’m talking about. I tell him about the popup on the customer web site and he says that he doesn’t have any special offers.

So why again did I get this when I logged on? Anybody from Dish Network out there who can tell? Can you inform your staff the next time you run something like this?

Tsss, tsss, tsss …

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We had a lot of fun with the TiVo in the Living Room, but just a few weeks ago it got replaced by a MediaCenter PC.

There were too many things that started to bug me about the unit and I felt that TiVo is losing ground very fast. Here are a few of the reaons why it got replaced:

• Lack of innovation: While the TiVo unit itself was a marvelous innovative device when it first appeared, there has been no significant improvement to the service since it first appeared. Granted, the Home Media Option was added, but can you name anything else?

• Home Media Option looks stale: When it first hit the unit, the Home Media Option was a tremendous addition and I enjoyed it in it’s infancy. But now things are starting to bug me and I don’t see a solution in the near future (why do some MP3 files crash the server? why is the UI for photo sharing so boring? why is there no official support for MP3 streaming servers? why is the pc server such a resource hog? etc. etc.).
• Lack of TiVo-blessed extensions: Yes, you can buy kits to increase the storage space of the unit. Yes, you’re going to lose your warranty if you do that. Why can’t TiVo offer blessed extensions? Why can’t I hook up a USB disk drive withouth the need to hack the kernel? Why should I have to buy a new unit if I want more storage?
• Lack of HDTV support: If I can trust predictions out there and if what I saw at CES in Las Vegas really comes true, then 2004 will be the beginning of a major HDTV upgrade wave. Where’s TiVo? Well, they announced one HDTV implementation for almost 1000 US$. Give me a break …. Too late, too little, too expensive.
• All those “We are so cool” ads: Over the past few months it seemed like every update contained another “Tell your friends how cool TiVo is” ads. It seemed like they were trying so hard to get the word out and make sure that the TiVo user was preaching the advantages of the service to friends and families. I can’t help it, but those ads had the opposite effect on me: they looked like a cry for help and just bugged me.

Bye, bye TiVo - for the moment we are keeping the second unit, but I think it won’t be too long before it will be replaced as well.

Sad, but true.

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I almost wet my pants when I read this: Who’s on first for the next generation.

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Candice had a continued legal education conference call today - I guess she was the only one on the call carrying her baby around and being watched by a web camera. She did well - not a single butt scratch …

webcam

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Besides the millions of Pia pictures put up on this web site, there are still a lot more that end up in the bin or even in my scrap book. Random snapshots of a random life. Wonder how random Pia thinks they are?

the scrap book

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You know that something is wrong if a book shop (this was Border in Santa Fe, NM) shows those two books on the same shelf right next to each other:

A sign? An outcry? A deliberate act of anarchy? Who knows. All I know is that Dubya better dresses nice and warm for the coming months …

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Contrary to popular belief we do use the crib, that is, Pia is using her crib. Her bed. Her kingdom. Is this proof enough? Any questions, Betty?

Using the crib	Using the crib	Using the crib
Using the crib	Using the crib	Using the crib
Using the crib	Using the crib	Using the crib

PS: For those of you who think I posted the same picture 9 times - there are subtle differences in those 9 pictures which will be detected by parents and especially by grand-parents: for example, one picture has shiny drool, where another one shows some dull looking wetness around the mouth. This may be unimportant to you, but is certainly of utmost importance to family members.

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I’ve just added “lmspider lmspider@scansoft.com” and “lmspider (lmspider@scansoft.com)” with a “Disallow: /” to my robots.txt file. I’ve contacted them quite some time ago and never received a response to my question about the purpose of this spider. Until lmspider@scansoft.com responds to legitimate requests, I suggest you do the same on your server.

Update 05/03/2004: I received a response to my query about the purpose of lmspider@scansoft.com. It took almost two months for a reply, but at least they sent a reply. As lmspider does not seem to be documented anywhere else, I post the reponse here on my server.
I leave it up to you whether you decide to support them or not.


From: LMSPIDER <LMSPIDER-at-scansoft.com>
Subject: RE: lmsipder?
To: Tobias Hoellrich, LMSPIDER <LMSPIDER-at-scansoft.com>

By allowing the lmspider to visit your site, you are in effect helping to influence speech recognition technology to be able to more accurately transcribe the kinds of documents you and your contributers want to create. We hope you will agree that this is a good reason to crawl the web and allow our spider to continue to visit.


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There are always two sides to a story.

This is side one: A happy little girl at 7:30am in the morning. Just after she woke up besides her mommy in the bed.

Two sides of the story - the front

And then there is side two: Same girl. Same morning. Same time. However this side shows what had happened half an hour earlier. With a bright red face and grunting sounds Pia greeted the new day and almost ripped a hole into her diapers with her - uhh - “excessive bowel movement”. Needless to say that the girl got changed a minute later and that we had to remove poop from her hair …

Two sides of the story - the back

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